Broken Home, False Beliefs, and a Love Never Lost
by Yami Akurei
Summary: Rated M for content of rape and language. What happens when your love has anger issues, his friend thinks your hot, and you're in denial but don't know it? Who knows, but welcome to Roxas' life.


Hello, sorry I haven't written in like, what was it again? Oh yeah, forever. XD But yeah, been EXTREMELY busy. Had finals to get ready for cause there's like, three weeks left of school. Not to mention the fact that I'm gonna be staffing IRT at Anime Central. (If you go, look for Brii, its me!) And I've been playing Final Fantasy X-2. I'm honestly surprised I haven't written anything FF related what with all that I've been playing. Regardless, here's something I haven't really written in my AkuRoku fics, dark traumatic things. Why? I have no idea. There's nothing really wrong in my life, it just sort of came to me, and since I haven't had any real inspiration to write anything, I figured why not this one? Anyway, enough about my ramblings, on with the story! ….and disclaimer!

Obviously this is an AkuRoku, and as per usual its AU (alternate universe). Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Axel, nor do I own Roxas…or anything else…well…I do own a Roxas plushie…and my boyfriend owns an Axel plushie….we're gonna make 'em have a tea party soon! But yeah, I don't own the characters…or the places. Sadly.

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Roxas sighed contently as he looked at the flaming red head whom was cuddled against him in a deep post-sex slumber. He never would've thought three months ago that he would be dating the psychotic pyro he had fallen head over heels for the first time he saw him working in the Starbucks coffee. He never thought himself gay, bi either, but that all changed when their fingers touched when Axel handed Roxas his change back for his Green Tea Frappachino, he'd never forget that drink seeing as how he'd go in and order one everyday after that.

Axel would never admit that he had felt the same, no, rather he liked to say he was smitten with the younger boy. He felt full of pride when Roxas returned day after day to spend a rather…generous amount of money on the difference between loitering and consuming so he'd sneak in worker's discounts for such a loyal customer. Axel never pushed Roxas into conversations, rather as much as he yearned for them, the only interactions they'd have is when Roxas would purchase his drinks. Finally Roxas got the courage to slip in a piece of paper with his cell phone number amongst his bills and left once he got his drink, needless to say Axel called him that night once he got off work.

Roxas gently stroked Axel's cheek as he recalled the memories, they were a happy time, a simpler time. As are most of the beginnings of relationships. No sex and leaving right after, no caring about how your apartment looked before they would come over unannounced, and most of all no arguing. Roxas sighed, his disdain and sadness escaping in the breath. He had known about Axel's temper, a volcano that could never stay dormant for long, he just never thought his temper would find Roxas as a victim. It had start attacking him a month ago, when Seifer, one of Axel's friends, told him he found Roxas extremely sexy. The argument lasted, thankfully enough, two days, but it had scared Roxas into watching his actions and what he wore around Axel's friends.

Regardless of the countless fights Axel would start due to his temper, he would never hit the blonde. Roxas knew he never would, just as he knew Axel's temper would never leave. He loved and accepted Axel, heart and soul, and that was why he would never leave him. Never turn his back on Axel because of the inconsiderate things Axel would say when he was in one of his 'fits'. He knew Axel never meant anything he'd say during their fights, he knew Axel loved him back, and that was enough to repair any wounds Axel would cause with his words.

Still, that didn't mean Roxas would enjoy getting yelled at by Axel. Once he was in his 'fits' Roxas would freeze wherever he was standing, stop what he was doing and switch between keeping and dropping eye contact. He wouldn't yell back at Axel, he'd speak in a calm, even tone and especially he would make sure that he would remind the red-head that he loved him. Once Axel was finished with his 'fit' he would allow him half an hour or less of time alone and remind the red-head once more that he loved him. Axel would usually break down and apologize for acting the way he had.

Roxas stopped stroking Axel's face once he noticed him stirring. Axel's shimmering emerald eyes peaked open and he smiled gently. Roxas returned the heart-felt smile and gently kissed Axel's forehead. Axel would never play Roxas' emotions, he would never break their relationship over a stupid fight. He would never do those things, because he loved Roxas.

So why was he doing it now, two days later?

Roxas watched with tear-filled eyes as the red-head grabbed the majority of his clothing and shove it into suitcases and bags.

"….fucking ridiculous Roxas! …… You're not worth anything to me…."

Bits and pieces of the conversation rang through Roxas' ears.

"…..n't take living here! ….head's full of fantasies…..! …..fucking hate you!"

Roxas could only stand there as he watched Axel grab his bags and slam the front door. He took a few breaths and sat down. He'd done this before, three times. After he would return he would apologize and say he needed to get away before he said something worse or did something to him. The words 'I love you Roxas' would always follow, and Roxas would always accept and welcome him back with open arms.

Roxas looked down at his hands as he rewound the conversation that had started the fight. Colors, it had to do with colors. Roxas wanted to paint their bedroom, he'd already picked his color, Teal, and had went to ask Axel what he would want. Instead of helping him with colors, he glared at Roxas and began ranting about why he would waste his money on something so insolent.

What would he do now? What was there to do other than make something to eat and wait for Axel to come back? Who knew when he'd return, excluding Axel himself. At least Roxas knew where Axel was headed, he'd always go to Seifer's. Roxas never asked Seifer any questions, or pry when Axel was there, instead he left the two alone and Axel would return in a few days back to his old self.

Roxas was in the kitchen making himself some pasta when he heard the doorbell. 'Axel!' Roxas thought as he turned off the flame and dashed to the door. He smiled brightly as he opened the door for his lover, which faltered when he noticed it wasn't Axel. Rather, Seifer stood there, an obnoxious smirk plastered on his face.

"What happened to that smile, I thought you were happy to see me?"

Roxas sighed, but let him in regardless. "I thought you were Axel. Why are you here anyway?" Roxas didn't despise Seifer, but they were far from friends. Seifer was the type of person who started trouble just to watch the outcome. The kind of person Roxas had tried all his life to stay away from, until he met Axel.

"Aw, can't I come over because we're friends?"

Roxas couldn't help but want to shove Seifer out of his house, sadly he wasn't sure his ego would fit through the door. "We're not friends Seifer. You know that."

"Yeah whatever, you're no fun to mess with. Anyway, Axel sent me over here to check on you."

That stopped Roxas cold. "You're lying." Axel never sent Seifer over to check on him. He'd leave him alone and go clubbing with Seifer or whatever the two of them did.

"Ask him yourself, no wait, he blocked your number. Forgot about that. He doesn't want contact with you Rox, he just wanted to make sure he'd leave you in capable hands so then you don't try killing yourself in case he wanted to come over for sex."

Anger bubbled in Roxas as he watched Seifer's smirk grow wider. "I don't know why you're here, but that's not the reason. Axel would never use me."

"He's been using you since day one. He doesn't care about you. Hell, he told me all he said you're good for is food and kinky sex."

Roxas could feel his heart cracking. "That's not true. He wouldn't use me. He told me he loves me. You're lying." He had to be lying, Seifer started shit to mess with people, to watch happy couples break up. This had to be one of his games.

"I wish I was Rox, I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but I don't want Axel to take advantage of you again. You're a good guy Rox, and I wouldn't wish this on anyone, especially you."

Roxas wasn't sure what was going on anymore. Confidence radiated off Seifer, he couldn't be lying. Liars are never that confident. Roxas sat down slowly onto the couch. "Why is this…. …What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you except for your safety, for your assurance that you'll give up Axel. Maybe go date a nice guy."

Roxas shook his head, there was only one guy he wanted. Whether he hurt him, or lied to him, or used him. There was only one guy he loved, he needed.

"Rox, you haven't even looked out there for a new guy. There could be a guy right in front of you that was interested in you, and you'd never know if you kept your eyes trained on that backstabber"

Roxas watched Seifer as a pang of fear went through his gut. Seifer's voice began rising, he looked angry. Why would Seifer be telling him to find a new guy right after Axel went away, unless-

"Did you finally get it? Geez, I can see why Axel would call you easy. So what do you say Rox? I can make all this go away, I can make you feel so much better than that douche ever could."

Roxas blinked, Seifer liked him. They'd only met each other a month ago and Seifer was trying to rebound him after Axel walked out. Before Roxas could find a polite way to let Seifer down, he shook his head.

"What, you'd rather be with that asshole who uses you than with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?! I'd treat you way better than that user would. Fuck it! All you need is a good lay and you'll change your mind."

Roxas scooted as far back on the couch as he could, trying to hide himself. "N-no Seifer, don't." He wasn't sure what he could say that would stop Seifer from approaching him, but no matter what he tried he was certain, he couldn't get away.

Seifer shoved Roxas into laying down and crawled atop him. "Its too late to stop. You made this happen Rox."

Roxas tried to push Seifer off of him, but each effort meant nothing. It was like trying to push a wall, there was nothing to do. Eventually he shut himself down, trying to distance himself somewhere else, anywhere else. He imagined himself back in the happier times before Axel started fighting with him.

Roxas hadn't known that Seifer was finished until he felt the other blonde get off him and began putting his own clothes on.

"You might want to wash up."

Roxas looked down at himself, disgusted. He disgusted himself at how helpless he was, had been. He grabbed his clothes and started to the bathroom, startled as Seifer watched him hungrily and settled himself on the couch.

Once inside he locked the door, not sure it could stop Seifer if he wanted to come in and turned on the hot water. He stepped inside and let the scalding water wash over himself. He grabbed the soap and scrubbed at himself, wishing it all away. No matter how hard he scrubbed he could never make any of it just a dream, he could never be clean.

What would he do now? No one would want him, he was like a helpless rape victim. No, he was a helpless rape victim. There was nothing anyone could do for him, whether he wanted him or not. He wished Axel was here, whether Axel had lied to him or not- Axel! This was all his fault! If he hadn't have yelled at him and stormed out, Seifer would have never come over and raped him.

Roxas quickly got out of the shower, keeping the water on high and dialed Axel's number. Axel picked up on the second ring.

"Roxy what's up?"

'Roxy? What did he have to be so calm about?! Nobody raped him!' Roxas felt nothing but blind rage that was too hot to keep in. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! First you've been using me through this whole relationship and you act as if nothing's wrong!"

"Using? What the hell are you talking about?! I've never used you. I love you Roxy. Now tell me what's wrong."

This had to be a trick. Lure him back with sweet talk, then lie to him again. "You've done nothing but lie to me this whole relationship! Then you send over Seifer to make sure I don't kill myself so you can come back whenever you want for sex. Is that it?"

"No, I told you I've never lied to you! What the hell's wrong with you Roxas!? Why would you accuse me of lying to you?! What the fuck happened!? Put Seifer on the phone, I'm obviously not going to get any answers from you."

He did send Seifer over, but why? Seifer couldn't have been telling the truth about checking in on him. Axel probably sent him over to rape him. "Why the fuck would you want to ask him about your fucking plan the whole time!?"

"Plan?! What plan?! Roxas what the fuck happened!?"

Roxas laughed, now he was pretending not to know. "Your plan. Your plan to send Seifer over to rape me. I don't know what you thought you'd get out of it, but you're a fucking asshole for doing it! If you wanted out you should've just told me instead of doing this!"

"Rape you….Roxas….I would never send someone over to do that to you… Why would you think that?"

Roxas swore he could hear Axel's voice crack as he asked. This was nothing but a game to Axel and Seifer, so…why would Axel sound like he was going to cry? The shock of reality finally hit him as tears began rolling down his cheeks. "Because Seifer raped me… He raped me because you sent him over and he wanted to rebound me…"

"……….is he still over there?"

Roxas swallowed back a sob. "Y-yeah. He was still on the couch…"

"Good. I want to make this easy. Roxy, stay wherever you are, away from him. I'm coming over. And Roxy?"

Roxas rubbed hard at his eyes and moved away from the bathroom door. "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Roxas nodded and ended the call. He wasn't sure how he felt about Axel right now, he knew Seifer lied, but…after what had happened he wasn't sure Axel actually meant he loved him. Nobody could love damaged goods.

He placed his phone down and hid back in the shower. The water had dropped degrees since he'd made the call, put it didn't matter. He had to make sure he stayed away from Seifer.

A banging on the bathroom door startled Roxas, he wouldn't have much time. He could only hope Axel was on his way, that he wasn't lying about that. "I-I'm still in the shower."

"I know that, but if you take any longer I'm gonna bust open the door."

Roxas gulped, he could only stall for time. He knew he couldn't keep it up forever, but he could only try. "I've still gotta dry my hair."

"You're just going to get it wet again from sweat, what's the point?"

A spark of hope lit up within Roxas, he might be able to keep this up. "It's the only way I get my hair to spike the way it does."

"Tch whatever. You've got five minutes."

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Time seemed to crawl slowly as Axel raced to their house, hoping Roxas was staying the hell away from Seifer. He knew Seifer thought Roxas was sexy, but he didn't think he would try anything. It was all his fault for fucking around with Roxas' mind. It was why he loved Roxas more than anything, the innocence the boy had.

He still hoped Roxas would remain the person he'd always been, the self-conscious, shy boy he met at the coffee shop. He wasn't sure how the raping would alter him, he'd read books on it, but never knew actual cases. Regardless it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting to Roxas and beating the shit out of Seifer.

When he finally got there he took out the spare key Roxy had given him a couple weeks ago and let himself in quietly. He nudged the door open slightly and peered in, finding Roxas huddled on himself on the couch, looking away in fear and Seifer slowly crawling towards him.

As soon as he entered, all the rage he'd been holding in exploded, causing Axel to slam the door and begin striding towards the pair. They both looked up surprised, Roxas' mixed with happiness and Seifer's with anger. That was until he noticed Axel didn't look all that happy.

Seifer moved away from Roxas and got up off the couch. Axel watched Seifer's mouth move, but his rage blocked out his voice. He assumed he was trying to explain why Roxas was undressed and crying on the sofa, but he wasn't in the mood for Seifer's bullshit. Instead of talking in a civilized fashion he sent a right hook into Seifer's cheek.

Seifer stumbled backwards and spat out blood. He tried again to talk Axel out of kicking his ass, but he could tell by the fire in Axel's eyes that it wouldn't work. So instead of letting his ass get handed to him, he put up his fists and tried to put up a fight. However, he didn't catch Axel's uppercut until seconds before it made contact and knocked him out.

Seifer's body crumbled to the floor as Axel looked onto it with disgust. Something so pathetic and low didn't deserve to live. He didn't deserve sympathy, kindness, or anything positive, only retribution.

"…..xel! Stop! …..killing him!"

Axel blinked and looked down at Seifer's battered body, he kicked him one last time in the ribs and backed up. "Roxas he doesn't deserve you to speak up for him."

"Yes he does Axel. He doesn't deserve to die."

Axel looked over Roxas, his body huddled around itself, so scared. So unlike the usual Roxas. Seifer had ruined him, he didn't deserve to live after that. Roxas was so innocent, now who knew if it could be recovered. "He doesn't not deserve to die."

"That's so like you Axel. But you can't kill him, I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be alone."

Axel watched as tears began to fall down Roxas' cheeks. He couldn't leave him, especially not after everything that had happened. "Fine, he can live for now. But as soon as he makes any kind of contact with you he's as good as dead."

"Thank you."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Roxas' face as he got off the couch and buried his face in Axel's chest, hugging him tightly. Axel returned the hug and buried his face in Roxas' hair. The scent began to calm him, as the fires of rage subsided. "I love you Roxy. If I had better control, this never would have happened."

"This isn't your fault, you were just being you."

Axel felt the guilt at the pit of his stomach, making him feel sick. "That's just the thing Roxy, I've been going to therapy for my anger. This therapist, Namine, has been trying to help me work with it. And I couldn't even stop it earlier."

"You've been going to a therapist? I had no idea. Ax, therapy isn't an instant process. You can't just expect it to work so quickly."

Axel buried his face further into the blonde spikes. "I suppose, but still, it should've made some kind of impact. And I've been going for a couple weeks now. I wanted to do it for you, for our relationship. I know I can be an ass when I yell, I just wanted to prove that I really do love you. That I want our relationship to continue."

"Ax, I love you as you are. I understand you have anger management issues. I accept that. I love you Ax, I really do."

Axel lifted Roxas' chin and kissed him gently before looking over at the still unconscious Seifer. "I love you too Roxy. What should we do with him though?"

"Let's take out the garbage."

Axel grinned and picked up Seifer by the shirt and heaved him out the front door. Brushing off imaginary dust from his shirt he looked back at Roxas. "Let's hope the trash collectors come tomorrow morning and decide to take him too."

"We can only hope love."


End file.
